We have all been there. A disagreement. A case of foot in mouth syndrome, a word vomit of sorts that in turn affects someone. Pending the severity of the relationship your audience accepts your blunder in laughter that rolls of their back like a basketball to Stephen Curry’s fingertips. Or the enfromiddable awkward silence that begs for the two parties to vacate the scene as if a fire has started. Or the most powerful, pain, that will result in either tears or combativeness. Either way as the culprit of the initiation, you find yourself in a bit of embarrassed state to which you in turn say, I am sorry.
When I was a 10 years old, I was unaware of anxiety, as most children my junior. To me being non confrontational, keeping the tone chill, and saying sorry first was the ultimate seg-way to make everyone happy within the situation. As time grew so did the use and belief of sorry. Eventually I did learn about anxiety, but how to manage that is a different article for a different time. Coming into the working world at the ripe age of 23 sorry had sophisticated in my mind as accepting responsibility and proved integrity in time of workplace blame. At my first position away from university, my current supervisor, was notorious for blindly throwing our marketing department under the bus in meetings with all parties present including the company’s top executives. In these moments, of betrayal from my supervisor and to stop the continued uncomfortable dispute I would accept full responsibility, despite rarely being at fault, in order to move the conversation forward to finding a solution. To me, I was viewed as a progressive, that taking the blame was courageous but more-so being the problem solver spoke louder than the blame itself. That notion burst into raging fireballs of doom when my grumpy supervisor asked me to meet him in HR one Friday in the summer. Blame, to management, was the problem, despite successful solutions.
From day to day situations and points of contention our society (Americans) are quick to blame. The weight placed on blame and someone accepting it is the automatic reprieve similar to the climax of an orgasm. One moment you are heated in disagreement, sorry has been said by someone, and often immediately the gates of heaven are lifted and everything goes back to normal. To this day, I agree with 23 year old Jordan to a certain extent. Blame is not the means to an end of a conversation nor is it healthy to dwell in blame. “We are all human,” is probably something you or you have heard someone say. We make mistakes or like my mother would say why we have erasers on our pencils. When intent is not meant and honest mistakes are made, sorry and blame may come into the situation. But whats more important and essential to living itself is the growth found within that discomfort or disagreement. Explore yourself within that space, find solutions to the disagreement, and most importantly take action. It is vital to our society to be constructive of oneself as we are of others.
Belieber or not, its not too late to say sorry, but I know, you know, we can grow from it now. :P